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Feb. 14th, 2020 11:31 pm
[personal profile] habibekindheart


We like to keep things friends only around here. Show your credentials to get in.

"If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not so costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no chance of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves." --- Winston Churchill

Ashleigh Marie | Isaac Matthew





Date: 2006-07-02 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takenbylovely.livejournal.com
I've seen you around (probably in boob_nazis) and read your website. I just wanted to send you *hugs* and ask, if you're "up to it" to add me. My LJ is FO, too, and not very interesting, but I'll be happy to return the favor.

Date: 2006-07-02 12:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilirose.livejournal.com
Hi there. I've seen you on my friends' friends list for a really long time, and just now decided to read your profile and your story, and friended you immediately.

I also lost a child to the fucked-up "system"...the circumstances were very different to the hell you went through, but it was hell just the same. My son now lives with his stepfather (my ex-husband, who is not his bio father, though I was never allowed to mention that in court), and I have not seen him since 2001 because I am supposedly a "flight risk".

I'd like to tell you more about how and why I lost my boy, but I don't want to do it here. If you have the time and inclination, drop me an e-mail at the address on my profile and I'll tell you my story. I see you have a bunch of beautiful babies, and also whole lot of friends, so I understand if you don't have time.

I hope you'll friend me back.

Date: 2006-07-04 03:53 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-07-23 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_fauxsilence_/
hi,
i first came across you in the unassisted birth community when i read your beautifully empowering birthstory. anyways, the lurker that i am checked out your website, after shock came anger and then a complete sense of grief for your loss. as someone whom was bounced through the system in my early early years, before being adopted out, i still have feelings of being "stolen". my heart aches for you, but celebrates your strength.
anyways, that's all i came here to say,
peace and blessings,
keep up the fight
lisa

Date: 2006-08-10 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sherina.livejournal.com
Somehow I lost touch with you - I'd love to read again.

Date: 2006-08-10 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Hey you :) Readded

Date: 2006-08-10 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
I don't know what happened with your kids, simply what the gossip is. I hope that you are finding strength and that you will be reunited with your kids one day. Don't give up hope.

Date: 2006-08-10 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
I haven't :) Things are much different than people 'think' or 'guess' but hey...it's not my job to explain things to people who never bothered to ask. *shrug*

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Date: 2006-08-10 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syanorra.livejournal.com
hey hun ... i heard of your story through [livejournal.com profile] parent_drama where [livejournal.com profile] on_a_hill posted about you. i am SO sorry you are going through all this with your kids, and i hope it all works out for you in the end. i want to apologise if any of my comments in that thread seemed snarkish or mean.

Date: 2006-08-10 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you.

Our story can seem confusing when people don't understand how the system works, but I personally enjoyed the 'how the hell did she convince otherwise intelligent women...' Truth has that effect on people I suppose. I've never denied someone who's asked, and some people have been downright rude about it.

Refusing to deny your children comes with a price. I have to tell people where they are. If I wasn't prepared to face the consequences of that, I wouldn't be fit to be their mother anyway.

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Date: 2006-08-10 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofumama.livejournal.com
I just finished reading your website...and I can't even remember how I got here. Wow, mama. I can't even imagne. I am friends only as well, pretty much only 'hanging' with strong, fierce mamas...I'd love to join your circle if you'll have me. I can add you so you can check me out if you want. :)

Date: 2006-08-10 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofumama.livejournal.com
I'm sorry, I just read your comments and see you aren't adding anyone. LMK if you are ever up for it again.

I'm so sorry about your beautiful girl....

Stay strong, mama...you'll be in my prayers. No one should EVER have to go through what you have been through.

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From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-08-10 04:17 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2006-08-17 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pudgybudgie.livejournal.com
I came over here from raisangrrl's journal. I am so very, very sorry.

Date: 2006-08-17 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imbroglio.livejournal.com
Oh mama, I am so sorry. Isaac was an amazing little man. His gorgeous curls and amazing eyes made me smile every time I saw them. I cannot believe this has happened. Know that my thoughts are with you and Matt. *hug*

If there's anything I can do, or anything you need, please don't hesitate.

Date: 2006-08-17 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you hon. He was such a wonderful little boy. *hugs*

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Date: 2006-08-17 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] afluffypenguin.livejournal.com
My god. I just heard from [livejournal.com profile] kayholder. You are in our prayers.

Date: 2006-08-17 10:01 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-08-17 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msbratty.livejournal.com
Hi hon
I unfriended you when you went months without posting - don't ask me why.

I just heard this morning about your wee darling and I am so sorry :-(

I didn't realise you were back in LJ land or I would have contacted you by now.

Love and hugs at this horrific time.

Sue - from NZ

Date: 2006-08-17 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you hon. I missed you. I think I responded to one of your posts once, but it must have gotten lost in the shuffle.

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Date: 2006-08-17 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jynxgirl.livejournal.com
Honey, I just read about your son. :( I am so sorry. :(
If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

Date: 2006-08-17 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
You don't know me, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. I heard about your little boy from [livejournal.com profile] batty, and I am so sorry. I am the mother of an almost 2 year old son myself, and I don't even want to imagine your pain.

I hope your and your son find justice, and that your daughter comes home to you soon.

Date: 2006-08-17 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you for your kind words. This will be the 2nd child we've buried in 6 months thanks to foster care.

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Date: 2006-08-17 09:31 pm (UTC)
ext_107938: (Default)
From: [identity profile] graphemes.livejournal.com
Hello, you don't know me. I wanted to share with you something someone shared with me when my little girl died. It is not much, but these are not empty words. My heart aches for you, and my prayers are yours.

I'll lend you for a little time,
a child of mine. He said,
For you to love while he lives,
and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years,
or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
and shall his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
as solace for your grief."

"I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there,
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
him back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say:
"Dear Lord, thy will be done."
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
we'll love him while we may,
And for all the happiness we've known,
forever grateful stay;
But shall the angels call for him
much sooner than we've planned;
We'll brave the bitter grief that
comes and try and understand.


p/s I found you through [livejournal.com profile] batty - if there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Date: 2006-08-17 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
From Ashleigh's memorial. She passed away on Feb 23rd of this year. This is our second loss in 6 months.

God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So He wrapped his arms around you,
And whispered, "Come to me."
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So He gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes the best.
And when we saw you sleeping
So peaceful and free from pain
We could not wish you back
To suffer that again.

I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my gravve and forever weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sun light on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

We're buddhist, but I think in times like these, people can only turn to God and ask why.

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Date: 2006-08-17 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanderingio.livejournal.com
Oh Mama.

:*(

I am so sorry. I'm sending you strength.

Date: 2006-08-17 09:43 pm (UTC)
goodjoan: (Default)
From: [personal profile] goodjoan
I know we grew apart in lj terms a while back for different reasons. I just wanted to drop a note and add my sympathies to the ether. I remember when Isaac was born and I am crying with you today. There are just no words for how wrong and horrible this is. He was a bright, adorable boy and his smile will be in our memories forever.

Date: 2006-08-17 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meadowrue.livejournal.com
I've only met you in passing through [livejournal.com profile] hormone_ravaged I just wanted to express my condolences on your loss. My heart goes out to you and yours.

Date: 2006-08-17 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hamano-kumiko.livejournal.com
I just wanted to stop by and say that I'm so very sorry about your son. I heard about it through [livejournal.com profile] grypx, and I feel so horrible right now and can't even imagine how you must feel. I know you've got a million other things to worry about, but if you ever feel like adding me, I'd like to know more about you and your babies. We have some similar interests (AP type stuff). Again, my sincerest condolences. I am so sorry :(

Date: 2006-08-18 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
You'e been added. It's a zoo in there.

Date: 2006-08-17 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karenmkk-610.livejournal.com
I found a link to you through carrier's journal and I know I read about a similar story before, just don't know if it's you or not. My thoughts are with you and your family and I'm so sorry for your loss. Feel free to friend me if you'd like.

Date: 2006-08-17 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you for your kind words. Our story is unfortunately difficult to forget. This is our 2nd child loss in 6 months.

Date: 2006-08-17 11:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirty-three.livejournal.com
Jen, I just wanted to tell you how incredibly sorry I am to hear about Isaac. I know nothing can be said to curb the pain and rage you must be feeling, but I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

Date: 2006-08-17 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel like I'm saying that all day today, but I really mean it. Every single person who was touched by our son is another person who won't forget him.

Date: 2006-08-17 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamapear.livejournal.com
I got here from [livejournal.com profile] mizzy's LJ. Also - I'm friends with Eliza - who drew the statue of liberty drawing you have posted.

Date: 2006-08-18 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
I tried everywhere several years ago to find out who had drawn it. The copy I got was so small that I couldn't see the signature. :( Otherwise, I would have credited her.

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Date: 2006-08-18 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] said-by-me.livejournal.com
I just heard about Isaac. I am so sorry sweetie... you are in my prayers

Date: 2006-08-18 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
Thank you hon.

Date: 2006-08-18 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uptheduff.livejournal.com
Please draw strenght from the fact that he is safe in the arms of his sister.

I am just so, so sorry.

Be strong and Brave and fight hard to bring home your precious babies.

To Issac - Sweet Dreams Precious Little Baby.

Date: 2006-08-18 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] birthingway.livejournal.com
Sister,

I just read about your sweet boy in Mizzy's journal. I am so angry and so very sorry.

I will light a candle for Isaac and you tonight.

Date: 2006-08-18 02:56 am (UTC)

Date: 2006-08-18 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenni-goes-grrr.livejournal.com
I know we've had our tifts but I am truly sorry for you loss. I've been in tears since reading it. He really is a gorgeous child. I hope this will bring light to the true nature of foster care. Let me know if youneed anything..

Date: 2006-08-18 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habibekindheart.livejournal.com
I'm sorry, but I just can't be pleasant right now.
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